If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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