I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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