I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
