i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
