idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
