508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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