Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
there is puke in my bra ... again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize