she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
did i just pee glitter
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
