We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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