I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
