I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
