just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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