I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
