Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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