I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
