I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize