He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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