Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat

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(802): I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat http://tfl.nu/eud8

Replies (26) Good night (1058) Bad night (543)
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(916): View more from California

do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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(916): do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won? http://tfl.nu/7jg6

Replies (29) Good night (1929) Bad night (3517)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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(757): I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton. http://tfl.nu/4m44

Replies (59) Good night (2366) Bad night (1024)
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(555): View more from

Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.

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(555): Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me. http://tfl.nu/aho3

Replies (21) Good night (5805) Bad night (946)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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(678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7

Replies (3) Good night (2905) Bad night (789)
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(214): View more from Texas

i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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(214): i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night. http://tfl.nu/pbft

Replies (12) Good night (1040) Bad night (7841)
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(269): View more from Michigan

All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.

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(269): All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold. http://tfl.nu/eqny

Replies (4) Good night (1889) Bad night (799)
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(713): View more from Texas

he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"

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(713): he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses" http://tfl.nu/ra51

Replies (11) Good night (848) Bad night (1775)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?

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(781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf

Replies (7) Good night (4382) Bad night (689)
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(419): View more from Ohio

He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

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(419): He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer. http://tfl.nu/ld4h

Replies (8) Good night (1879) Bad night (397)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.

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(701): I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad. http://tfl.nu/wm5g

Replies (9) Good night (1103) Bad night (484)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall

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(412): I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall http://tfl.nu/47d9

Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (416)
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(785): View more from Kansas

His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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(785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm

Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (298)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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(908): i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real. http://tfl.nu/55e2

Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (332)
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(518): View more from New York

Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.

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(518): Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window. http://tfl.nu/wq4x

Replies (4) Good night (574) Bad night (218)

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