I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!