Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.