I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.