Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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  (713): Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together http://tfl.nu/ix8i
  Replies (15) Good night (1744) Bad night (2695)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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  (404): alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/ialt
  Replies (43) Good night (709) Bad night (4835)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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  (216): There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself. http://tfl.nu/jj9y
  Replies (23) Good night (1255) Bad night (4036)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.

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  (813): He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys. http://tfl.nu/u6q3
  Replies (16) Good night (870) Bad night (4310)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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  (215): I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done. (1-215): I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together. http://tfl.nu/q0m2
  Replies (19) Good night (4875) Bad night (1064)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.

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  (412): i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad. http://tfl.nu/1j3o
  Replies (3) Good night (3457) Bad night (1198)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend

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  (208): I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend http://tfl.nu/wdl5
  Replies (13) Good night (3422) Bad night (798)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!

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  (910): I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT! http://tfl.nu/3dqj
  Replies (9) Good night (1679) Bad night (646)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.

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  (902): Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring. http://tfl.nu/d21p
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (1174)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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  (+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (511)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.

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  (406): Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video. http://tfl.nu/84d9
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (406)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby

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  (989): Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby http://tfl.nu/oj8d
  Replies (6) Good night (678) Bad night (390)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)

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  (828): thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss) http://tfl.nu/ut31
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (300)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting

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  (706): Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting http://tfl.nu/0ok9
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (481)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.

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  (785): You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you. http://tfl.nu/hep7
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (180)

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