He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
