i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.