I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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