im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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