I've blown a few things in my day
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize