I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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