How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
