This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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