Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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