you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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