That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
