You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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