I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
