Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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