love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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