My Higher Power is John Stamos
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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