the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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