Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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