the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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