You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
