They should really pass out barf bags in church
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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