The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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