That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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