Where is the hickey?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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