I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My cat gives me a boner
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
