am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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