nut hugger
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm at about main and main street
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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