Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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