So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
