definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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