i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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