it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
