Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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