This girl is more easily done than said...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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