God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
