Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
