I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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